at first i thought this line was something not to be followed. but now as i think more about it i think that its true. if you act a certain way even if you dont feel that way inside you eventually start to become this person. thus no longer having to fake it because you made it.
so today im faking it till i make it.
because i want to make it so bad.
so these insecurities i have no one will see anymore because i will fake those feelings away.
ive been thinking that everyone must have some sort of issue they hide. i was listening to a christian man on talk radio yesterday and he said that we all have secrets. we all have something that we hide.
something we will never tell anyone.
thats true. i have things that i have thought/done that i dont think i would tell anyone. so to not let the guilt hang over me i will no longer be doing things that i know are wrong.
dont get me wrong. im sure i will fail. but i will pick myself up.
yesterdays showing of weakness was not pretty. and i dont want to be this person.
my husband does not want an insecure woman. he wants someone he can respect and be proud of and know he can count on. not some emotional drama queen basket case.
and really what woman wants to act that way anyways.
so, here i am again. working on myself. working on who God has designed me to be.
wish me luck faking it. because i will make it.
i will overcome these stupid thoughts and feelings because they are not from God. they are from Satan and i will do my best to rid him of my heart.
the more i act the way i should, the more i will begin to feel these things in my heart.
yes..sometimes i feel like my heart should change first before my actions. but my heart is changing. i am thinking a new way.
i feel good. i just hope i can pull through on this one and i see this as my only way. i have tried before and fail after a day.
no more failing after 24 hours. i will run this race. i will be strong. i will be peaceful. i will be happy. i will be loving. i will be confident in myself, in my marriage, in the way my husband feels about me, in my job. i will be smart. i will make smart decisions.
i know the outcome of this all will be more than i can take. but i have never been able to overcome. to make it to the other side.
today is my day.
off i go...
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1 comment:
Sweetie, I could have written your post. I agree with you, sometimes you just have go on ahead and let your heart follow. I have anxiety issues and Satan sees that as an opportunity to attack. He has had me doubting my salvation and if God even exists. My heart knows better and he can't touch that. I just have to go with what I know and trust that. I know God loves me but I don't always feel it. That doesn't make it any less true. Ihave my insecure days and I feel like a failure. But I've been faking it and sometimes, sometimes the secure days outnumber the insecure. I'll be keeping you in my prayers. Do you mind if I add you to my blog list?
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