stressball.

i feel like a big ball of stress today. i don't like being moody and rude to people and putting them in a standoffish mood - but that's how i am today. as much as i have prayed i feel no peace. i wish i had some friends i can go to coffee with and just get some perspective but i don't. it sucks.

here's the deal:

i now am working 3 jobs.
Nic starts at Iowa State today and begins his 2 years of full class loads lots of studying and less and less time of us seeing each other.
I have a house I have to take care of basically by myself.
I have 3 pets I have to take care of and clean up after.
My main job requires me to do a lot of extra work that puts a lot of stress on me.
I feel like I won't see my husband very much anymore.
And to top it all of....yes I am admiting this...I am trying to quit smoking today.
I am just about to explode.


If anybody is reading this I could really use a boost today.

I really wish I could just be at peace and be content with everything. But, it's hard with the situation I am in.

Am I just throwing myself a pity party??

I mean I have no such thing as a weekend. Nic and I can't just stay at home and chill all day and I am so immensely jealous of the people who have that luxury. Don't take it for granted for as you rest I work.

I no longer have days off. I work 7 days a week about 60 hours a week.

I need something.

I need something to show me the light at the end of the tunnel.

I want to survive this but it's so hard on your own.

For those of you who have friends...do not take them for granted either!!!

Someone please lend a helping hand!!